SHANNON WITHLOVE' it's all about my nonsense

Saturday, March 24

there are actually some people i really like like speaking to or like read their blogs
i don't know why but i can't stop myself from using the word love
you know like love the person* as rly good friends
maybe my hands and mind is not working as one again
it may not be someone i speak to very regularly or meet often, be in contact with
but i just love this blog, not because of how fancy it looks or how popular this person is but because of the content in the blog
when you read something and you realize that,
you seem to be living that persons life
i mean hey, to me at that point of time
i would feel a sense of familiarity
it is non other than CMD

i really do feel very emotional at times, *like him?
but i never do show it , too often
we put on a facade so that no one would know what is behind that smile
and when we really do smile
we can't sense it
because it just feels so numb
you can't seem to different shade the many feelings you should have

MD,you do seem to have a more fun packed life compared to me
we then to not take notice of the things we have around us
like your mom, my mom
i ever once that what would happen to my mom
if she would to left me one day
i felt like the whole world came crashing on me
at that point of time tears streamed down my cheeks

is it a crime for being emo?
it is too much to ask for someone to be your emotional support
it has always been there but you won't accept it
you don't wish for the person to have a different idea
but you don't wish to break the heart that you know would break

what should i do,
stay neutral for now, until i find a better solution

my ipod has died on me
something that has been rather close to me
my medication for stress
i feel like i am lost
without a map, compass or anyone to trust on the road
it is going to be a long road down
i tried to find another kind of medication i use to love
reading, it just cause me to have a headache on the bus
so that is canceled

was speaking to Tricia today
and i told her how much someone can cause you to hate something you love so much
how someone can take away the passion the love from deep inside
even for a moment in time
it felt awful.
she told me her experience too
and said that she too had felt this before
she was the leader like chairman for air rifle
and no one respected her
because she was a girl and they felt like she was not good enough for the job
but they eventually accepted her as she gone through those hard times
and so she asked me not to give up and to strive on
so as not to regret making a decision that i might come to regret in future
and she alos gave me an insight into what JC life would be like
it sounds rather fun, maybe i shall put that into my life planner

there is simply too much i expect from life
and i feel that i can make it
but still lacking effort
time is also something that has been holding me back
maybe i should look deeper into what is my wants and needs